This night, I experienced hateful and lovely
Life is like a sea: no matter who you are, when it is calm, picturesque;And it only takes a moment for it to become violent.In the face of life, whether to keep calm or to go crazy, depends on everyone’s understanding of it and its struggle.The most familiar stranger is sometimes the most hateful.My husband is going to attend a common friend’s wedding banquet in the evening. I said, THE most afraid of you drinking too much, because I went with several friends who love drinking.Husband say, wedding banquet, won’t drink too much also won’t return late.I guess so. Hotels are always closed.About 9:45 p.m., not an hour ago, I have micro I said in the back of the husband, the phone past, the first vague said, and everyone together, to have some midnight snack……I feel at that moment, I like the Spring Festival was lit firecrackers, want to immediately because of the outbreak of a full shot into the sky and shock across the sky loud bang.Unfortunately, I am not that firecracker, my resentment is only in the body bit by bit erosion of my body and not leak, good sad!My husband often wondered why drinking too much wine and coming home late for a while had become the same thing with me.Because: WHAT I feel is the insecurity of not being respected and taken seriously.I suppose a woman’s insecurities are as uncomfortable as a man’s being exposed as a pusher.It was a betrayal, a abandonment, a sense of my value in the hearts of those I trusted the most, suddenly being compared with a lot of triviality, and being judged on the spot as unworthy of any triviality.I was the one he wanted to disappear from his world until I was valuable to him again.During that time, he didn’t want me to feel like a human, just like a robot that could be turned off at any time.Why should I be disrespected now and then, now and then?What did I do wrong?I really can’t figure it out and I’m not convinced.I think I must not focus on such thoughts, otherwise, I will doubt myself because of such a bad experience, and doubt myself is the greatest sorrow in life.Two, growth is in a moment of loveliness.I announced to my mother-in-law, eldest daughter and youngest daughter that there was no need to wait for dad to come home today, because he didn’t want to go back to the house, so the family decided not to have him.I went on to announce: I’m angry now, I’m going to take a shower and go to bed early, you’re going to wash and go to bed one by one, and we’re going to lock the door so that no one can come in.Then I was the first one to take a bath and go to bed.I heard the big sister and the little sister carefully discussing what to do.Then one by one they took the shower, and the two of them cleaned the shower like we do, and the big one didn’t know where to start, and the little one seemed to know everything, and then came the “ee-hee!Hee-hee!”The voice.Then the two children carried the laundry basket full of dirty clothes to the washing machine on the balcony, where they guessed and experimented for a long time, what to add first, where to add, which button to press…The washing machine is abused and makes numerous “drip drip drip drip drip drip…”Such a cry.In the end, they must have thought they had booked their laundry because the machine was quiet.After a while, I heard my door open. I immediately closed my eyes and fell asleep.Even then I was pretty sure it must have been my little girl, but I wasn’t sure what she wanted.I heard her turn on the heating machine in my room. Then she gently lifted the covers at my feet and handed me a hot water bottle!She likes to tuck her head in and ask me to give her a hot water bottle, just like she does when she’s angry.Then I said to her, you go to bed too, remember to lock the door for me.She said, “Okay, Mom.She wasn’t surprised THAT I wasn’t asleep, as if she understood that she often pretended to be asleep when she was angry because she didn’t want to listen or talk to anyone.These little things that children do, at this time, do give me a lot of comfort, let me know that the world is still lovely.